Once upon a time
On the Internet, there was a guy
A very deeply flawed man,
They called him Eric Bauman.
He was a total [Censored],
And nobody knows why.
He travelled all around
On the pulse of each phenomenon,
From Something Awful, on to Fark,
With his trusty watermark,
He stole and stuck it all upon
eBaumsWorld dot com
It wasn't fair
To those from whom he stole,
But did he care?
No, not one bit.
And then he had the nads
To sell some ads.
What a piece of [Censored]!
Oh, Eric.
Eric's quite a [Censored],
Other people's work
Has made him rich.
He hired some male prostitutes,
Dressed them up in three-piece suits.
His faithful team of lawyers
Made the internet his [Censored]...
...'till Lowtax came along,
Punched him in the face
And banged his mom.
And Mr. Bauman, quite disgraced,
Had his dumb website erased.
Well sadly that's a lie
There's still an
eBaumsWorld dot com.
But if we all join hands
And sing this song,
Then our call will reach the sky.
And maybe Zeus and Thor
Will smite that [Censored].
I think it's worth a try.
Oh, eBaumsWorld
Is going down.
We gotta rise up from the underground
And tell Eric Bauman a thing or two
About how stealing simply isn't cool.
So right now we're making that our mission,
And if the [Censored] doesn't listen,
We'll get sick of being lawful
And brand his CENSORED with Something Awful!